The Young Constable and "mobile phones"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.

John Clarke

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MOBILE PHONES'

A friend was flying to Sydney and had contacted the YC to catch up.  The YC organised to pick up his friend at the airport and catch up, he left his mobile number just in case he got held up at his new job, on the ground at a well known Australian airport.

The friend arrived at the airport and waited out the front as planned, but the YC was nowhere to be seen.  After half an hour the friend rang the mobile number the YC had left, however, the phone rang out.  The friend became puzzled, he thought maybe something was wrong.  He tried another two times but the YC's mobile phone rang out.

The friend thought he would wait a bit longer.  About an hour later, the YC drove up in his car and the friend got in.  He said, "what happened."  The YC said, "Yeah I did have to work a bit longer."  the friend told the YC he had rung the mobile number the YC had given him a number of times and it had rung out.  The YC said, "Yeah, I wouldn't have heard it, we wear headphones on the Tarmac."

The Young Constable "The Inspector's Hat"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.

John Clarke

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THE INSPECTORS HAT

There was an Inspector at Tweed Heads who didn't mind going out on the street when something was happening.

The Police had received a call of an armed robbery up Bay Street and the Inspector decided to go up and check it out.  He went up in one car and the YC went with another police officer in another.

On reaching the scene the Inspector realised he had mislaid his new Inspector's hat with all the silver braid but was able to find a Constable's hat in the rear seat which he put on and went for a foot patrol to try and ascertain which way the offender went.

The YC and the other officer did the same thing in the next street, the YC couldn't find his hat either, so he put the only hat on that he could find, of course it was the one with the silver braid.

The Inspector and the YC met on the corner of Bay and Steward Streets and  an immediate hat-swap took place with the Inspector saying "aw shit you got my hat....next thing you will be after my rank".

The Young Constable "The Triathlon"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.

John Clarke

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THE TRIATHLON

In may 1994, the YC had been conned into doing the swim leg for a team in a small triathlon, held in Tweed Heads.  Now, for a small triathlon, this race had well over 500 entrants.  Because of this large number, they divided the entrants into equal groups and sent each group off with a five minute break between them.. All team competitors were to start in the first group.

Prior to the race, the YC had been told by 2 other team members that the race starged at 7am sharp, and to be there well beforehand, YC, the team swimmer being in the first group, had to get there early to get the team off to a good start.

Well, the big day arrived.  There were hundreds of people standing around the starting area.  The other team members had located each other amongst the throng of people, but neither of them had seen or heard from the YC.  About 6.55am, when all the athletes were gathering by the water's edge ready for the start, one of the team members though he'd better do something quickly.  He approached one of the race announcers and asked could he put an announcement over the PA.  Soon the PA blared "If the YC is in the area, could you please come to the announcers area, your team is looking for you."  There was no response.

At 6.59am, one of the team members noticed the YC strolling casually across the grass towards them.  "Where have you been?" the team members cried.  "What's wrong? It hasn't started yet." the YC replied.  "It's about to start now. Get down there!!" they yelled.  The YC stripped off and made his way to the start area.

It's hard to imagine, but for some reason, the YC got his wires crossed.  He was under the impression that it didn't matter which group you started in, as long as you swam the full course and didn't cut any corners or cheat.  So, that's exactly what he did.  He went with the fourth group, which started at 7.20am, swam the full course, before exiting the water and tagging another of his team members for the cycle leg.  What the YC didn't realise was that because all team competitors were supposed to start at 7am, and he didn't start until 7.20am, the computerised timing system didn't take this into account and automatically added 20 minutes onto his swim time and ultimately, the team's time.  Nonetheless, the team soldiered on and eventually finished the race, but because of their early handicap, they were beaten convincingly by a Year 8 girls team from Tweed River High School and a pensioner's team from South Tweed Bowls Club!

The Yc has since retired from triathlon competition.

The case of the Dead Red Setter

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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It was Good Friday night and a few years back.  The two police officers got a call that a dog had been skittled righ on the middle of the Barneys Point Bridge at Chinderah.

They attended and sure enough a very large red setter had been bowled over fair in the middle of the bridge by about a hundred cars.  It was fairly mangled and not a pretty sight.

Well, of course the correct thing to do was call the Council out to remove the remains, but both of these fellows being fairly resourceful came up with the idea of quickly disposing of the corpse by throwing it straight over the railing into the Tweed River.

They waited for a break in the traffic.  It happened, and they dashed onto the bridge, one on each end and heaved that dog straight over the railing.  Instead of a splash there was a loud crash and terrified screams came from below.  A quick look over the railing revealed two blood spattered terrified bream fisherman in a tinny with the deceased red setter between them.

The police officers made a very quick exit to the south and took off.

I still hear fishermen talking about the myster of the red setter in the Kingscliff Pub but haven't let on...this one is better left as a mystery.

The Young Constable and "The Wedding Ring"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.

John Clarke

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THE WEDDING RING

The YC got married and was given a very nice wedding ring.

Touch footballers when playing are required to remove their jewellery for safety reasons.  They usually place their jewellery with their clothing at the side of the field.

Not the YC...he put his down his underpants, duly played the match and was observed afterwards - hours afterwards, desperately searching the field.

The ring has never been found.

The Young Constable and "Lord Howe Island"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.

John Clarke

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LORD HOW ISLAND

The YC and his girlfriend went to Lord Howe Island for a week.

After having arrived they decided to get married.

They did - that day - on Lord Howe Island.

They YC gave his Mum and Dad a ring to let them know the good news ... I never really heard what the reaction was.

Before they left the Island a cyclone came to the Island and blew the roof off their accommodation.

A few months later the YC and his wife went, guess where, yess, Papeete, Tahiti, got back one day before the atomic bomb riots.  Guess we should have warned the authorities.

The Young Constable and "Sunglasses in the USA"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.

John Clarke

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SUNGLASSES IN THE USA

The YC visited the USA in 1995.

He was on a domestic flight at the airport seated in a small Boeing when he realised that he had left his expensive Bolles in the terminal.

Unfastening his seatbelt and standing up, he made the announcement "I've left my sunnies in the terminal".

Amazingly, perhaps because he was an Australian, who knows? The plane stopped taxing to the runway and arrangements were made for the sunnies to be immediately returned to the YC who carried on his trip quite normally, despite the amazement and curiosity of his fellow American passengers.