Friday, March 25, 2011

The Young Constable and "mobile phones"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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MOBILE PHONES'

A friend was flying to Sydney and had contacted the YC to catch up.  The YC organised to pick up his friend at the airport and catch up, he left his mobile number just in case he got held up at his new job, on the ground at a well known Australian airport.

The friend arrived at the airport and waited out the front as planned, but the YC was nowhere to be seen.  After half an hour the friend rang the mobile number the YC had left, however, the phone rang out.  The friend became puzzled, he thought maybe something was wrong.  He tried another two times but the YC's mobile phone rang out.

The friend thought he would wait a bit longer.  About an hour later, the YC drove up in his car and the friend got in.  He said, "what happened."  The YC said, "Yeah I did have to work a bit longer."  the friend told the YC he had rung the mobile number the YC had given him a number of times and it had rung out.  The YC said, "Yeah, I wouldn't have heard it, we wear headphones on the Tarmac."

The Young Constable "The Inspector's Hat"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE INSPECTORS HAT

There was an Inspector at Tweed Heads who didn't mind going out on the street when something was happening.

The Police had received a call of an armed robbery up Bay Street and the Inspector decided to go up and check it out.  He went up in one car and the YC went with another police officer in another.

On reaching the scene the Inspector realised he had mislaid his new Inspector's hat with all the silver braid but was able to find a Constable's hat in the rear seat which he put on and went for a foot patrol to try and ascertain which way the offender went.

The YC and the other officer did the same thing in the next street, the YC couldn't find his hat either, so he put the only hat on that he could find, of course it was the one with the silver braid.

The Inspector and the YC met on the corner of Bay and Steward Streets and  an immediate hat-swap took place with the Inspector saying "aw shit you got my hat....next thing you will be after my rank".

The Young Constable "The Triathlon"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE TRIATHLON

In may 1994, the YC had been conned into doing the swim leg for a team in a small triathlon, held in Tweed Heads.  Now, for a small triathlon, this race had well over 500 entrants.  Because of this large number, they divided the entrants into equal groups and sent each group off with a five minute break between them.. All team competitors were to start in the first group.

Prior to the race, the YC had been told by 2 other team members that the race starged at 7am sharp, and to be there well beforehand, YC, the team swimmer being in the first group, had to get there early to get the team off to a good start.

Well, the big day arrived.  There were hundreds of people standing around the starting area.  The other team members had located each other amongst the throng of people, but neither of them had seen or heard from the YC.  About 6.55am, when all the athletes were gathering by the water's edge ready for the start, one of the team members though he'd better do something quickly.  He approached one of the race announcers and asked could he put an announcement over the PA.  Soon the PA blared "If the YC is in the area, could you please come to the announcers area, your team is looking for you."  There was no response.

At 6.59am, one of the team members noticed the YC strolling casually across the grass towards them.  "Where have you been?" the team members cried.  "What's wrong? It hasn't started yet." the YC replied.  "It's about to start now. Get down there!!" they yelled.  The YC stripped off and made his way to the start area.

It's hard to imagine, but for some reason, the YC got his wires crossed.  He was under the impression that it didn't matter which group you started in, as long as you swam the full course and didn't cut any corners or cheat.  So, that's exactly what he did.  He went with the fourth group, which started at 7.20am, swam the full course, before exiting the water and tagging another of his team members for the cycle leg.  What the YC didn't realise was that because all team competitors were supposed to start at 7am, and he didn't start until 7.20am, the computerised timing system didn't take this into account and automatically added 20 minutes onto his swim time and ultimately, the team's time.  Nonetheless, the team soldiered on and eventually finished the race, but because of their early handicap, they were beaten convincingly by a Year 8 girls team from Tweed River High School and a pensioner's team from South Tweed Bowls Club!

The Yc has since retired from triathlon competition.


The case of the Dead Red Setter

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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It was Good Friday night and a few years back.  The two police officers got a call that a dog had been skittled righ on the middle of the Barneys Point Bridge at Chinderah.

They attended and sure enough a very large red setter had been bowled over fair in the middle of the bridge by about a hundred cars.  It was fairly mangled and not a pretty sight.

Well, of course the correct thing to do was call the Council out to remove the remains, but both of these fellows being fairly resourceful came up with the idea of quickly disposing of the corpse by throwing it straight over the railing into the Tweed River.

They waited for a break in the traffic.  It happened, and they dashed onto the bridge, one on each end and heaved that dog straight over the railing.  Instead of a splash there was a loud crash and terrified screams came from below.  A quick look over the railing revealed two blood spattered terrified bream fisherman in a tinny with the deceased red setter between them.

The police officers made a very quick exit to the south and took off.

I still hear fishermen talking about the myster of the red setter in the Kingscliff Pub but haven't let on...this one is better left as a mystery.

The Young Constable and "The Wedding Ring"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE WEDDING RING

The YC got married and was given a very nice wedding ring.

Touch footballers when playing are required to remove their jewellery for safety reasons.  They usually place their jewellery with their clothing at the side of the field.

Not the YC...he put his down his underpants, duly played the match and was observed afterwards - hours afterwards, desperately searching the field.

The ring has never been found.

The Young Constable and "Lord Howe Island"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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LORD HOW ISLAND

The YC and his girlfriend went to Lord Howe Island for a week.

After having arrived they decided to get married.
They did - that day - on Lord Howe Island.

They YC gave his Mum and Dad a ring to let them know the good news ... I never really heard what the reaction was.
Before they left the Island a cyclone came to the Island and blew the roof off their accommodation.

A few months later the YC and his wife went, guess where, yess, Papeete, Tahiti, got back one day before the atomic bomb riots.  Guess we should have warned the authorities.

The Young Constable and "Sunglasses in the USA"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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SUNGLASSES IN THE USA

The YC visited the USA in 1995.

He was on a domestic flight at the airport seated in a small Boeing when he realised that he had left his expensive Bolles in the terminal.

Unfastening his seatbelt and standing up, he made the announcement "I've left my sunnies in the terminal".

Amazingly, perhaps because he was an Australian, who knows? The plane stopped taxing to the runway and arrangements were made for the sunnies to be immediately returned to the YC who carried on his trip quite normally, despite the amazement and curiosity of his fellow American passengers.



The Young Constable and "Savings on Electricity"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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SAVINGS ON ELECTRICITY

The YC was living on Greenbank in a duplex.  His neighbour was an 86 year old gentleman who lived alone, suffered a little from Alzheimers, long suffering from the ways of the world and a really nice old bloke.

The YC went on a weeks holiday and to save power he turned off the electricity at the power box.  Only trouble was that he turned off the wrong electiricity and off he went for a week.  The old gentleman after living three days in the dark decided to ring the electric authority who arrived and turned on his power, but not before all his frozen foods were ruined.

The YC on his return, made good the frozen foods for the old gentleman, the YC was forgiven and their relationship continued at a high level - after all, anybody could make a mistake like that!

The Young Constable and "The Touch Football Match"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE TOUCH FOOTBALL MATCH

The YC's car was in dock which was a fairly frequent happening.  He was in the touch football team and required to play a late evening match.

He got in touch with another Police Officer friend for a lift.  Well this was OK by him, but he only trouble was that his wife was working that night and he had the two kids who he needed to get home to bed immediately after the match.

The match was duly complete and the Police Officer friend who was giving the YC a ride home, bundled the kids into the car and had a look around for the YC who he spotted on the edge of the field talking to a group of people.  He called out "Right to go mate?" and the YC replied "only be a minute".

Ten minutes later the Police Officer is beginning to get a little anxious and gave the YC another hoy.  The YC  broke off his conversation and hopped into his friend's car and away they went.

After a couple of minutes, the YC's friend (the other officer) said, "who was that back at the field?"  The YC replied, "Oh that was my Dad and Mum and sister, I don't see them much - they are just up for the day and head back tonight on the plane"......

The Young Constable and "The Police Portable Radio"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE POLICE PORTABLE RADIO

The YC is a very able and talented photographer.

One night, whilst on night work he wanted to take some snaps of the sunrise over the Pacific from Duranbah Beach, so he took off in the Police Truck to the beach, placed the Police Portable Radio in his camera bag in case he got a call and proceeded to the water line and obtained his snaps of the sunrise.

He knocked off shortly after and went home to bed.

Some time later, he became involved in deep dreams where he was being called by radio VKG.  "VKG to Tweed 1, VKG to Tweed 1".

The YC woke in a cold sweat and couldn't believe it when he continued to hear the radio call.   A quick search of the camera bag revealed the Portable Radio still there, receiving and in good working condition.

The Young Constable and "TheGuthega Ski Break Incident"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE GUTHEGA SKI BREAK INCIDENT by Tracey A.

A couple of years ago the YC went skiing down to the Guthega Ski resort in NSW, Australia.  The YC was staying with a friend, along with myself.  The particular time of year we went skiing was at the end of the ski season.

The YC, being a very good skier, well and truly above average, started at the top of the mountain.   His prior intention with me was to meet me at the bottom of the mountain, just near the chairlift which is also near the resort.  They UC started skiing down the mountain like a professional.  He was parallelling and doing fancy moves down the mountain.  At the bottom, the YC was going a bit too fast, in fact he was travelling at high speed.  Due to the high speed, he had to take evasive action to slow down so that he would not knock over a large number of people coming out of the resort and getting on the chairlift.

The YC performed a brilliant sideway skid stop, sending up a curtain of brown sloppy white melted snow and slush all over a handful of people as they walked out of the resort.  This slush and brown snow sprayed people making their beautiful expensive ski suits brown and wet.  The YC then continued to ski to the chairlift where he was waiting for me to reach the bottom of the mountain.  These poor people that he has unintentionally drenched with slush and snow did not even get an apology, from him anyway, I had to apologise for him as I got to the bottom of the mountain.  These people were swearing and cursing the YC, as you could well imagine.

The YC just had no idea of what had happened and he was quite devastated when I put him right.

The Young Constable and "The Wedding Suit"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)\
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE WEDDING SUIT

The YC was invited to a pretty important wedding in Sydney.  Only problem was that he didn't have a dinner suit.  Made a few enquiries, checked out another Police Officer friend, who had, a couple of years earlier bought a magnificent dinner suit for $700.

Well, the YC borrowed the suit and really stood out at the wedding, the women though he was great and the men were all jealous.

Some weeks later the Police Officer needed his dinner suit and approached the YC regarding its' return.  The YC advised him that it was in the dry cleaners and gave him the money and ticket to get it back out.

Well, the Police Officer got it out in plenty of time for his function and on the night threw on the gladrages only to find that the bottoms of the trousers were six inches higher than his shoe tops...yes, the YC had lifted the hems, done a bit of amateur home sewing with lumpy cotton and a blunt needle and of course, by getting them dry cleaned had placed a permanent crease in the bottom of the trousers.

Luckily, the Police Officer's wife is handy with thread and needle...he did make the function and no one noticed anything untoward...or at least, no one said anything. 

The Young Constable and "The Amphibious Caged Truck"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
- - -

THE AMPHIBIOUS CAGED TRUCK

One cold winters nigh, the YC was the driver of the Tweed Heads Caged Truck with another Police Officer as the observer.  They were patrolling in a n industrial area about midnight when a job came over in a neighbouring suburb.  The YC explained to the other Officer that there was no need to go the long way around (via public streets) as he knew a short cut, so he proceeded to drive along a dirt road off the beaten track.  About a kilometre in they came across a puddle which took up the entire width of the track.  After some discussion, the YC started driving through the puddle as he assured the other Officer that cars frequently used this route.

Half way across the puddle, the car started sinking, and continued sinking until the wheels and completely disappeared and water was halfway up to the doors.  After numerous attempts to drive the car out, the Kingscliff car was called for to pull them out.   The YC, not wanting to dirty his new Police pants or boots, took his boots and socks off and rolled his pants up well above his knees.  He waded through the muddy water and hooked the winch up to the front of the truck.  He got back in his truck and was winched out much to the laughter of the other police officer.

When safely on the other side, he rolled down his pants and noticed a small mud spot on a pants leg, so the YC walked back to the water, wet a handkerchief and proceeded to rub off the mud.  However the water he used was dirtier than the mud and the YC finished with both pants legs a brown-blue colour.  He became a bit upset at this, as the other three Police were laughing and joking, so he opened the door of the truck to abuse them, and out fell one of his boots into the mud.

The next day, a brand new pair of pants and boots were found in the station dumpmaster.

The Young Constable and "The Hospital Escapee"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
- - -

The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
- - - 

THE HOSPITAL ESCAPEE

The YC and another police officer were guarding a murderer in the hospital.  The murderer was pretty ill and the fact that he had a guard was only that it was required as he was in custody.  I mean no one really thought that he would escape.

About 1am, cold winters night, the police officers both nodded off, but something awoke the YC and he glanced over to the prisoner's bed - guess what - he was gone.

The YC immediately leapt into action.  He woke the other police officer and raced down the stairs into the street just in time to see a ghostly figure in the mist in the distance apparently running at a fast speed and dressed in white in a hospital sheet.

Well the YC is a pretty fine athlete and he took off after the figure.  At the same time, the other Police officer appeared in the street with outstretched revolver yelling "will I shoot!?" .. the YC  screamed out "Don't shoot, don't shoot", as he was between the police officer and the offender.

The YC kept running and after several hundred yards realised the escapee was outrunning him, which had him pretty puzzled.  He also noticed that the escapee had an unusual running style.

At this point by a stroke of luck, a cab came past which the YC hailed and jumped aboard and then rapidly caught up to the escapee who it was now realised, was making good his escape on a stolen wardsman's bicycle.  A bike stop was carried out and the escapee/patient rapidly returned to hospital where he was kept under close and alert guard until his hospital court appearance the next morning.

No occurrence pad entry was made on this occasion.

The Young Constable and "The Bruce Jones Affair"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE BRUCE JONES AFFAIR

The YC purchased a first floor unit at Greenbank.  It was really nice.  Bruce Jones was transferred to Tweed Heads and was stuck for accommodation at the time, so the YC offered Bruce accommodation at his unit.  This worked pretty well for a time....

The Yc had to go to court in Sydney for a couple of days and whilst he was absent, Bruce had a problem with the toilet in the unit.  It got blocked up.

Bruce contacted a plumber from Banora Point and got him to come and check it out.  The plumber arrived and tried everything he knew - he tried the hose down the pan, he tried suction things and long bendy rubber things, but nothing worked.  He eventually went downstairs and saw the German lady underneath and asked permission to remove a wall panel in her lounge room so he could get to the sewerage pipe from the above unit.  She allowed him to do so, and this particular plumber being a stickler for correct work practices, removed the wall panel, unscrewed the pipe and it being knock off time, left things in this state and went upstairs and advised Bruce not to use the toilet and that he would be back next day to complete the repairs.

As luck would have it, the YC came home unexpectedly on the plane late that night, on coming home, went straight into the toilet where he performed a major action, flushed the toilet which resulted in a very smelly and unpleasant mess cascading out of the wall into the flat below onto the lounge room carpet, quite unbeknown to the YC.

A minute later, thee was a heavy pounding on his front door and his irate German lady neighbour was at the door screaming 'you should be shot! you should be shot!'....The YC was completely nonplussed until he was taken by the elbow and confronted with the 'evidence'.

Bruce left the unit shortly after, to enter his own accommodation.

The matter had a squel when the plumber concerned was not paid for his work (and rightly so), but he subpoenaed the YC's wages through the Commissioner of Police, but eventually the matter was settled out of court.