Friday, March 25, 2011

The Young Constable and "The Bruce Jones Affair"

* a collection of stories and memories, in no particular order, from the life and times of John Clarke, who served as a policeman in the Australian Police Force, a great practical joker, he also had a great affinity with people and wildlife, was a champion swimmer, snooker player, loved golf, still loves fishing and is also an artist. I hope you enjoy his recollections - cheers, karin (his daughter)
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The young constable is one of the Century's innocents.  He has no malice in him.  He goes about his business in a quiet and private way, it's just that life's circumstances and strange and weird incidents have a habit of catching up with him. The young constable's father was amazed when he reached the age of 21, and why this is so, we just don't know except we must think that similar stories to those related here must have been occurring during the YC's  lifetime prior to him reaching his majority. Whenever I'm absent for a time one of the first questions I need answered on my return is whether any further Young Constable stories have occurred in my absence. These are some of the stories about the Young Constable that come to mind.  I have written them down as they are too good to allow them to be forgotten.
John Clarke
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THE BRUCE JONES AFFAIR

The YC purchased a first floor unit at Greenbank.  It was really nice.  Bruce Jones was transferred to Tweed Heads and was stuck for accommodation at the time, so the YC offered Bruce accommodation at his unit.  This worked pretty well for a time....

The Yc had to go to court in Sydney for a couple of days and whilst he was absent, Bruce had a problem with the toilet in the unit.  It got blocked up.

Bruce contacted a plumber from Banora Point and got him to come and check it out.  The plumber arrived and tried everything he knew - he tried the hose down the pan, he tried suction things and long bendy rubber things, but nothing worked.  He eventually went downstairs and saw the German lady underneath and asked permission to remove a wall panel in her lounge room so he could get to the sewerage pipe from the above unit.  She allowed him to do so, and this particular plumber being a stickler for correct work practices, removed the wall panel, unscrewed the pipe and it being knock off time, left things in this state and went upstairs and advised Bruce not to use the toilet and that he would be back next day to complete the repairs.

As luck would have it, the YC came home unexpectedly on the plane late that night, on coming home, went straight into the toilet where he performed a major action, flushed the toilet which resulted in a very smelly and unpleasant mess cascading out of the wall into the flat below onto the lounge room carpet, quite unbeknown to the YC.

A minute later, thee was a heavy pounding on his front door and his irate German lady neighbour was at the door screaming 'you should be shot! you should be shot!'....The YC was completely nonplussed until he was taken by the elbow and confronted with the 'evidence'.

Bruce left the unit shortly after, to enter his own accommodation.

The matter had a squel when the plumber concerned was not paid for his work (and rightly so), but he subpoenaed the YC's wages through the Commissioner of Police, but eventually the matter was settled out of court.

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